Praying for good things to happen

Wow, What an incredibly hard time I am having getting on the Tim Healthy Mama plan! I just can't seem to get with it! I know I said I wanted to be more positive in my posts but gosh dam I just can't get going with this weight loss thing. Today, I ate a Kit Cat candy bar!! I just can't seem to stop myself, when I get the urge to eat junk food I just go for it. I weighed in today at 147.2 pounds, all of my pants are tight as hell. I pray I can get control of this. I was so much happier when I was thinner.
On a hopeful note, I bought a power ball lottery ticket - I pray to God that we win!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Hello New Year!

It is always refreshing to start a New Year! I love the potential that it brings, you just never know what might happen!
I of course started my New Year with the intent on losing these dam 20 pounds that I have gained. I bought a couple of items from the Trim Healthy Mama book to get started  (I spent $20.00 that really should have been directed to other areas). I always have high hopes and jump into things gung ho and then falter so quickly. As you know I lost the 50 pounds using the Trim Healthy Mama program loosely, kinda doing my own thing but using their principles. I was so easy for me back then that I am SHOCKED at how poorly I am able to get it back going. Yesterday I was okay, I did have a ton of cheats but I was a bit more in control. Today is a different story and I really don't know why! I went shopping down to Target to get just a few things and I blew it!! I bought the Milano cookies AGAIN. I was almost out the door and they had them by the cash register and I had this overwhelming need for them. The scary part it I ate the WHOLE bag in the car even before I got home. Now what is that all about?????? I think maybe I should just stay the hell out of the stores!
I did get a good book that I am reading called: "The Best of Everything After 50" by Barbara Hannah Grufferman. I haven't gotten very far into it yet but I will let you know what I thought of it as soon as I complete it. I am also in the process of reading: "Trim Healthy Mama Plan" by Pearl Barrett & Serene Allison, "1 Year 100 Pounds" by  Whitney Holcombe, "The Body Book" by Cameron Diaz, and "Wildflower" by Drew Barrymore - Whew,  I sure have a lot of books going at the same time! I LOVE to read, especially self help books! Having said that though they sure can send you in a dozen different directions on how to improve yourself!
Hope the New Year is treating you well!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Out with 2015 and In with 2016

Well it's almost here - 2016!
Can you believe it? 2015 is a blur to be sure. Not much good happened for sure, but I did go back to work (is that a good thing or bad). Don't you think it's sad when you look back at the year and can't really remember anything that you accomplished or was worth while? Nope, I can't say that 2015 was a good year for me. Well I guess it's a good thing 2016 is tomorrow than!!
So what do you have on your resolution list for 2016? My hopes are of course to lose weight but also get these health issues under control for sure. I think it when you feel good everything else will fall into place! AMEN!
I am going to do one of those before pictures to get my big butt in gear to lose the weight (just maybe that will embarrass me enough to make changes). I weighed myself this morning and I am up to 149.8 pounds - YIKES! The funny thing is I went today  to Target and bought a bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies..... and ate the WHOLE DAM bag! What is wrong with me???? The sad part which scares me is I feel so much better after eating the bag! No really I do, I have energy and just all around feel good, so what the hell is that? I know it is the blood sugar surge from the sugar in the cookies and it will cause a roller coast type high than a crashing low but what can I eat to get that energy surge without eating sugar? I guess that's the million dollar question.
Anyway, I hope you all have a safe and wonderful New Year!!
See you all next year : )

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Ding Dongs - Oh No!

Yes, I have lost total control!!! I was checking out at Dollar General and they had ding dongs by the counter and I bought a whole box : ( As soon as I got in the car I ripped open the box and ate one - It tasted soooooo good! The funny thing is I get such a boost from eating chocolate junk like that that my brain says lets have another for more energy and I DO IT! I know how addicting sugar is for me but yet I eat it anyway - Why? I try and tell my self no but the other half of me says - yes, finally some energy. I don't drink coffee like most people do so chocolate gives me the boost most people get from their java, I wish I could find something that would give that burst of energy like chocolate does without the addiction.
Okay, You all know how I like to read and as I said a good book keeps your mind occupied and your fingers busy so food may not be the first thing on your mind when engrossed in a good book. I got the new Trim Healthy Mama book from my library and at first glance it does look a bit easier to understand. I just seem to have a mental fog when it comes to carbs, fats, protein. I do not know how to eat right - obviously!! I am hoping to get the new THM cookbook and some of their products to start the New Year off on the right eating foot. I have such a gut now, it hangs over my pants : (  I was thinking of joining a local swim & gym place that is not too far from my work, it would be great to get this old body moving again but at this point I can not imagine having enough energy to do it : (  I  did buy the Alive! Women's 50+ vitamins, I have not been taking vitamins lately since I ran out so maybe this will help get me back on track!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Pain - What Do You Do?

I have been having my eyes opened for sure lately!
I used to complain about things but I have to tell you now that I have been dealing with this pain in my elbow and hand it really makes you appreciate how you used to feel before!!
I am constantly thinking about how when you feel like you can't possibly go on because you hurt and want to just lay down and take a nap but you can't you HAVE to go to work. It is beyond me how people who are alone and sole supporting themselves do it. It is scary as HELL! You just have to do it - I pray that I get better and I don't have to face this pain the rest of my life!

Finally The Weekend!

Whooo Hooo I made it to the weekend! It sure was an up and down week for me. A very strange week at that for sure. One of the highlights was my family & I went up to St. Augustine to see the "Night of Lights', the town is all decorated with lights - very pretty! The thing of it is when you go with my son he always wants a plan on things to see he doesn't like to just roam around. I didn't have it planned out very well and we missed a lot. My grand daughter was not dressed warm enough for being by the water and her little hands were frozen which was not a good thing so we didn't stay very long (of course when paying the $12.00 to park in the garage I hate leaving so quickly).

Of course looking at the pictures that we took that night I see how much weight I have gained. Pictures really can tell you so much, my hips are huge again and my upper thighs need a lot of work. Which brings me to one of the downers of the week, most of my adult life I have used Advil to take care of my aches, pains & headaches ect. well this week I have been having pains in my elbow area that are painful only when I pick something up and it is getting worse. The scary part is that Advil does absolutely nothing for the pain! I won't lie is scares the shit out of me, I can't have pains that are debilitating! I don't have insurance and there is no way I can afford to go to the doctors and have tests done. I pray that this heals itself up and goes away!
As for my boss things leveled out by the end of the week and she was back to her nice self again. I guess life just has it's ups and downs and you just have to ride out the wave!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Blood Pressure & Weight

While I was at Publix today I had my blood pressure done. It was 111/66 with a plus of 84 - It said that this is normal. Now here comes the "Oh My Gosh" no point, It said I weighed 148 lbs.!!!!!! My scale at home says 146.2, I know it is only another 2 pounds but dam it sounds way worse! It said I was "normal" in weight range for my 5ft. 5 height but I'm real close to being over weight again : ( I had a bad day at work again but I controlled myself while shopping (I had Ding Dongs in the cart at one point but put them back). I did buy a pot pie & yogurt and that is what I had for lunch (I know the pot pie is terribly high in calories but I need something fast and easy). I came home after pick my daughter up from babysitting and took a nap! Yes a dam NAP! I am so tired all the time. I wonder if by taking the melatonin at night it is making me sluggish during the day but I really need help getting to sleep otherwise it takes me forever to fall asleep and before you know it it's time to start the next day. It is already 4:12 and I have not taken my walk yet so that looks like it is out for today because it gets dark so early now I won't have time to feed all the animals and get dinner ready and have time for that. I must get on the bike and do some time on that tonight. Anyway, I MUST read the Trim Healthy Mama book and getting moving!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!