Is it Friday Yet?

Dam, this week has been long and it is only Tuesday! Yikes!
I honestly hate weeks like this one, Life is too short to waste even a minute of a day let alone a whole week just wishing for it to be over.... but that is how I feel about this week.
You know that saying "Everyone is working for the weekend", Isn't that a sad fact when you think about it. You waste the whole entire week of your life just to make some money to be able to pay your bills and hopefully get some fun time in during the weekend.
When I wasn't working I would waste the days too doing a lot of nothing, but now that I work I am really aware of time and how precious it is.
My grand daughter has started to say Da Da, which is just the cutest thing ever. I thank god that I am here to see her growing up. That is what life is all about! I know people who don't have children must find other things to make their life worth living but I could not imagine not having children. I really am aware of how quickly time flies by when you aren't paying attention. I guess when you get to my age bracket things like time becomes very clear.
It's just a fact that we all die and there are no do overs in life no matter how much we wish there were, so you HAVE to make this life the best you can!
I need to remind myself from time to time.....

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

One Of Those Days.....

Yea, It's one of those days where I feel like crying!
I wish I could win a million dollars and just get away for awhile from everything.
Today my boss was such a bitch to me it was terrible. I just hate when she talks to me like I am dirt and have no feelings. My husband says I am just too thin skinned, that the working world now a days is nasty at best and I am seeing what he means. I get it that my boss is under major stress with a number of things but I just don't get why she has to be mean to me when I haven't done anything to her ever! I have always felt that being nice gets you so much further in life than if you are a bitch. It's so hard for me to just let it roll off my back, it hurts me when she talks mean to me. Why be like that to your employees? I just don't get it.
Anyway, I am really thinking that a lot of my weight issues is because I am always so stressed at work. Now I know what you are probably saying how can there be stress when you clean cat boxes & an office - I know you would think that it a no brainer but every day there is issues. I am just that kind of person who doesn't handle stress very well at all. So needless to say I bought another box of weight watcher ice cream (that's been almost a box EVERY day this week!). My size small shirts are starting to get tight on me : (  I am really going to have to grab myself and pull myself together!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

What The Hell : (

Okay here I am this past weekend, my husband, daughter & I went down to Daytona Beach for a nice little get-a-way weekend. I don't look too bad right? Well here I am in a bathing suit!

What the HELL! I look terrible! My legs are like tree trunks. I tell you it really is best to take pictures along your weight loss journey it really gives you a better opinion of what you really look like. During this mini vacation the elevator at the hotel was really slow so we used the stairs, going up 5 flights of stairs countless times I thought for sure I would lose weight - Hell No! I gained : ( I am so bummed out about it, I am now up to 145lbs.!!!!! Dam! The completely sad part is I went and bought a box of the weight watcher ice cream bars and ate the whole box in almost one sitting. Now isn't that a kick in the pants...... Here I am depressed as hell about gaining weight but yet I go and eat more junk. I just can't stop my eating problem, I blame it on stress all the time but dam that excuse is growing old. I want my old body back!!

Don't Tell Me!

The scale has moved up AGAIN! It is now up to 146.2 - YIKES!!!!!
I had gone over to babysit my grand-daughter Friday night & Saturday, I thought for sure I would lose some weight just running after her (Isn't she just the cutest baby ever!) with all the bending and lifting but no, I gained!

 I did find my daughter-in-laws cookie stash and had a few but really not that many (but I guess it really doesn't take that many cookies to gain). We than went on Sunday to the Jacksonville Zoo. I tell you pictures don't lie! My husband took this picture of my daughter & I and holly hell I have gained a ton of weight : (  My legs look like chubbers again! My daughter is about 120lbs., and she looks great at that weight (we are both the same height), so I really need to get down to at least 130lbs.

The funny thing is I was out shopping today and do you know what I bought and ate in the car? Ding Dongs!!!! Can you imagine with all the complaining I have been doing about weight and I ate a ding dong...... Dam that was stupid!

I really see that one of my main problems is when I get off of work and just grab things because I am tired and hungry and don't feel like making lunch, I grab something simple even it it's not healthy. I also have been stressing about things which also doesn't help.

I was stressed about the babysitting, I thought she was going to cry the whole time but she was great no problems. The other issue is that my boss asked me if I would like to help her with a catering job she has tomorrow night from 4 to 6pm. she is going to pay me $100.00, I said sure. Of course I didn't have any clothes to wear, she wanted black pants & a white shirt. I went to a number of the resale shops and found the black pants but no white shirt. I did grab a white shirt with black flowers on it, she said that would be fine to wear (she didn't want me spending money on new clothes when the point is to be making money not spending it). I also had to find some shoes, I do not have any black dress shoes (she didn't want sneakers - and that is what I live in). I bought a pair of small heals at Walmart for $11.97, I just hope they are comfortable enough to stand in for over two hours! I am looking forward to the evening for something different to do instead of the same old thing every week. Of course I am a little nervous that I will drop something or maybe spill something on someone.

I'll let you know how it goes, Wish me luck!

 

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Feeling Like A Failure

I could not be more upset with my self right now!
As I mentioned in a past blog post, I was offered the job position of being the assistant vet. tech. I accepted it with reservations being that I am a very sensitive to seeing animals harmed or hurt but I thought I could pull it off being that the animals are only getting spayed or neutered at our clinic. Today was my first time in the operating room, and it will be my last! I couldn't handle it! I am so disappointed, I was really looking forward to working more hours and learning a new job skill. I was doing okay until the point were the doctor was ready to cut the cat open and I lost it. The blood rushed to my head which made it feel like it was going to explode, it felt like my face was 150 degrees! Then my stomach started to turn, I was almost thinking I was working my way to fainting. I quickly told the doctor and the administrator I couldn't do it and went to the bathroom and tried to upchuck. I drank some water and sat down with a cold towel washing my face and I revived but thank God the administrator was there to take my place because the vet would have been up the creek with me shooting out of the room like a rocket. I am disappointed I let down the vet & my boss, they both had faith in me I could do the job. I am depressed that most likely my cleaning hours are going to be cut way down now that we are moving more towards just a spay & neutering clinic and away from taking in cats to rehome. There just won't be enough for me to clean for three hours every day. My boss mentioned while I was white faced and sitting in a chair that maybe I could work in the check in area instead, I hope that will be an option I can do. I just feel like I am such a failure!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Happy Father's Day!

This is a picture of my husband and son, this is my son's first father's day as a dad! He really is a wonderful dad, it really makes me so happy to see that he has such a wonderful way with his daughter. My dad passed about 12 years ago now, and it always makes me sad on father's day to think of him gone, so it's hard to really celebrate the day but life goes on.
I picked up "The Diet Cure" by Julia Ross from my library, and I am LOVING it! What an amazing book! It is so informative! I get crazy when I start reading a book like this that has so much information in it, I jump ahead and go back that I lose track of what I am reading. To stop myself I got out a notebook and am taking notes as I go along to help me remember all of the great info. Now granted it states you will need to buy/take a lot of supplements and amino acids to help get your body back to where is needs to be, so there is a big lay out of cash if you want to cover all of your problems right away. That of course is not in my budget so I am focusing on my most important problem first - How tired I always am. I think this is a good spot to start at since if you have energy thru out the day you can accomplish a lot even eating better because you aren't too tired to cook which stops the quick grab and eat food that is usually not very good for you. I will update you on my progress in the next post.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Time For A Haircut

I was at work on Tuesday and just was having one of those days were I felt sickish, my hair was in my way and making me even hotter (It has been HOT here in Florida). I always wonder when I am struggling with heat if it is really hot or am I starting the hot flash thing of menopause. I could not put a finger on the real problem so I decided to get my hair cut. I have found a great gal at Fantastic Sam's, they charge $15.00 for a haircut. The best part is the gal I use is fantastic she really understands what I am looking for. I felt a lot better after having it done and it looked good too. Well I go to work today and no one mentioned my haircut.... kind of a bummer. I had to work this past weekend so my paycheck this week was $190.00! Now that felt great getting a check in that amount. I hope when I start the vet tech assistant job it all works out and I can do it, it will be great to get a bigger pay check. I will be working Monday & Tuesday, I guess full days 9 to 5. That will be a big change for me working a full day, I'm used to my naps : ) It's funny how a little thing like a hair cut can make you feel better, now I just have to get my butt in gear and start eating right. So much of what your day is like is from your eating style, too much junk food and you feel like junk it is a fact. That's where I am at now, too much junk is bringing me down...... I can't wait to read the Diet Cure book sounds so interesting!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!