Out with 2015 and In with 2016

Well it's almost here - 2016!
Can you believe it? 2015 is a blur to be sure. Not much good happened for sure, but I did go back to work (is that a good thing or bad). Don't you think it's sad when you look back at the year and can't really remember anything that you accomplished or was worth while? Nope, I can't say that 2015 was a good year for me. Well I guess it's a good thing 2016 is tomorrow than!!
So what do you have on your resolution list for 2016? My hopes are of course to lose weight but also get these health issues under control for sure. I think it when you feel good everything else will fall into place! AMEN!
I am going to do one of those before pictures to get my big butt in gear to lose the weight (just maybe that will embarrass me enough to make changes). I weighed myself this morning and I am up to 149.8 pounds - YIKES! The funny thing is I went today  to Target and bought a bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies..... and ate the WHOLE DAM bag! What is wrong with me???? The sad part which scares me is I feel so much better after eating the bag! No really I do, I have energy and just all around feel good, so what the hell is that? I know it is the blood sugar surge from the sugar in the cookies and it will cause a roller coast type high than a crashing low but what can I eat to get that energy surge without eating sugar? I guess that's the million dollar question.
Anyway, I hope you all have a safe and wonderful New Year!!
See you all next year : )

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Ding Dongs - Oh No!

Yes, I have lost total control!!! I was checking out at Dollar General and they had ding dongs by the counter and I bought a whole box : ( As soon as I got in the car I ripped open the box and ate one - It tasted soooooo good! The funny thing is I get such a boost from eating chocolate junk like that that my brain says lets have another for more energy and I DO IT! I know how addicting sugar is for me but yet I eat it anyway - Why? I try and tell my self no but the other half of me says - yes, finally some energy. I don't drink coffee like most people do so chocolate gives me the boost most people get from their java, I wish I could find something that would give that burst of energy like chocolate does without the addiction.
Okay, You all know how I like to read and as I said a good book keeps your mind occupied and your fingers busy so food may not be the first thing on your mind when engrossed in a good book. I got the new Trim Healthy Mama book from my library and at first glance it does look a bit easier to understand. I just seem to have a mental fog when it comes to carbs, fats, protein. I do not know how to eat right - obviously!! I am hoping to get the new THM cookbook and some of their products to start the New Year off on the right eating foot. I have such a gut now, it hangs over my pants : (  I was thinking of joining a local swim & gym place that is not too far from my work, it would be great to get this old body moving again but at this point I can not imagine having enough energy to do it : (  I  did buy the Alive! Women's 50+ vitamins, I have not been taking vitamins lately since I ran out so maybe this will help get me back on track!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Pain - What Do You Do?

I have been having my eyes opened for sure lately!
I used to complain about things but I have to tell you now that I have been dealing with this pain in my elbow and hand it really makes you appreciate how you used to feel before!!
I am constantly thinking about how when you feel like you can't possibly go on because you hurt and want to just lay down and take a nap but you can't you HAVE to go to work. It is beyond me how people who are alone and sole supporting themselves do it. It is scary as HELL! You just have to do it - I pray that I get better and I don't have to face this pain the rest of my life!

Finally The Weekend!

Whooo Hooo I made it to the weekend! It sure was an up and down week for me. A very strange week at that for sure. One of the highlights was my family & I went up to St. Augustine to see the "Night of Lights', the town is all decorated with lights - very pretty! The thing of it is when you go with my son he always wants a plan on things to see he doesn't like to just roam around. I didn't have it planned out very well and we missed a lot. My grand daughter was not dressed warm enough for being by the water and her little hands were frozen which was not a good thing so we didn't stay very long (of course when paying the $12.00 to park in the garage I hate leaving so quickly).

Of course looking at the pictures that we took that night I see how much weight I have gained. Pictures really can tell you so much, my hips are huge again and my upper thighs need a lot of work. Which brings me to one of the downers of the week, most of my adult life I have used Advil to take care of my aches, pains & headaches ect. well this week I have been having pains in my elbow area that are painful only when I pick something up and it is getting worse. The scary part is that Advil does absolutely nothing for the pain! I won't lie is scares the shit out of me, I can't have pains that are debilitating! I don't have insurance and there is no way I can afford to go to the doctors and have tests done. I pray that this heals itself up and goes away!
As for my boss things leveled out by the end of the week and she was back to her nice self again. I guess life just has it's ups and downs and you just have to ride out the wave!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Blood Pressure & Weight

While I was at Publix today I had my blood pressure done. It was 111/66 with a plus of 84 - It said that this is normal. Now here comes the "Oh My Gosh" no point, It said I weighed 148 lbs.!!!!!! My scale at home says 146.2, I know it is only another 2 pounds but dam it sounds way worse! It said I was "normal" in weight range for my 5ft. 5 height but I'm real close to being over weight again : ( I had a bad day at work again but I controlled myself while shopping (I had Ding Dongs in the cart at one point but put them back). I did buy a pot pie & yogurt and that is what I had for lunch (I know the pot pie is terribly high in calories but I need something fast and easy). I came home after pick my daughter up from babysitting and took a nap! Yes a dam NAP! I am so tired all the time. I wonder if by taking the melatonin at night it is making me sluggish during the day but I really need help getting to sleep otherwise it takes me forever to fall asleep and before you know it it's time to start the next day. It is already 4:12 and I have not taken my walk yet so that looks like it is out for today because it gets dark so early now I won't have time to feed all the animals and get dinner ready and have time for that. I must get on the bike and do some time on that tonight. Anyway, I MUST read the Trim Healthy Mama book and getting moving!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

What a difference a day makes.....

Friday I felt like I was finally on the road to getting my mojo back, I was excited about reading the new Trim Health Mama book from my library as I had posted they weren't open. So fast forward to today which I was hoping was going to be a redo of Friday but with getting the book well hell no it turned out to be a crappy day! My boss was a beast today, I never know which boss I am getting the nice friendly one or the one who is bitchy about everything. I knew from them minute I walked into the door the day was going to be one of those days that I hate, but thank God I am only there for three hours! After I got off of work I went over and picked up the Trim Healthy Mama book and said to myself that I really need to read it and understand it and put it in to action asap! I weighed myself this morning and I weigh 146.2 lbs.!!!!! Hello, I haven't been that heavy in a LONG time and it made me feel so down and distraught about myself. I sat out in the sun (I know not good for the winkles) and started reading it. The sun made me sleepy and I came in and took a nap : (  How can I ever lose weight if I am always tired? I took about an hour nap and then read a little than took a walk around the block, I guess it's a start. Stress is a killer it just saps the life right out of you for sure, I need to focus my stress into walking. I want to take a before picture of what my body looks like now and then each month as I am on the Trim Healthy Mama plan. Well I'm off to do some reading, Good night all!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Tick Bite - Oh My!

Okay Scary stuff here! I got a tick bite on my back and dam it looks nasty already!

Of course I have been reading all about lyme disease and sure hope I don't get that!!

In all the site I have read it says if the bulls eye pattern shows up 7 to 10 days after the bite, this mess showed up while the tick was still on biting me. I guess I will just keep an eye on it and watch for symptoms to show up as I really would hate going to the clinic and having to pay $45.00 and have them tell me there is no reason to worry about the bit.

Life sure is never a dull moment!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Bubble Busted

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! The way I think of it is one holiday down one more to go..... I know that's a terrible way to think about it but that's the way it feels for me.
I was feeling a bit on the jovial side lately which always seems to come with a punch in the guy around the corner and of course it happened. I was feeling so happy that my local library got the new Trim Healthy Mama book. I have the older version but it is so large and I had such a hard time wrapping my brain around it, so I am hoping this book condenses the information in a easier was for me to understand it. Well like how I get when I am all jazzed up about something I couldn't wait till I got out of work on Friday to pick up the book, I had planned on spending the weekend with a glass of ice water and my book out on the lounge chair sitting in the sun - but no! The library was closed Friday, I guess they took the day after the holiday off too. That was a downer but I figured this will give me some time to focus on cleaning the house, which I did mop the floors (still a total mess). I get the mail and bam! We owe $250.37 on our electric bill and they are shutting us off December 4th. That just blew all of the steam I had in me out. This is why I tell you you need to work on all areas of your life if you plan on losing and keeping off the weight! When you hit up against stressful you have to be able to handle it without food being your comforter! Do you know what I did when I opened the bill? I threw in a pot pie into the micro wave because it was an easy meal and it was something I didn't have to think about. Pot pies are a terrible meal to have if you are trying to lose weight, I think they are like 350 calories plus I don't eat meat so I only eat the crust - Hello! Why blow that many calories on that! Anyway, I am totally deflated. All that get up and go attitude has left me. We are just under water with bills, I pray that we get this under control soon - It is just so stressful it ruins every day!!
Thank you for letting me ramble on and vent - It does help.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Trolling Around Face Book

Okay have you ever trolled your high school classmates on face book? The other night I was just looking around for some lost friends and found classmate who has a boat load of our class on her face book page so I looked them over. Dam who would have thought how some of them look now! One guy in particular was a very popular hottie in school and now he is mister biker guy, it just made me sit there and wonder wow really? One of my best friends has a daughter who is in a wheel chair due to seizures, it just made me feel so blessed about my life! I know I complain all the time lately about everything but really in the grand scheme of things my children/grandchildren are healthy, my husband & I are happy on the marriage front and are some what healthy so what the hell am I complaining about?????? I also found my old boyfriend, he got married two years after I did and has been married to her ever since. It's so strange looking at someone that you were so close with have another life. I have to say he has not aged well, now I'm not saying that to be a snot it just is true. Back when you are young and just starting your adult life you make choices that are either a good thing or maybe a bad one, I look at his face and think I spent four years with that guy and almost everyone thought we would get married but than God brought my present husband into my life and that changed everything for me. I am happy to see he looks happy with his wife and children and that things are as they should be : )
BUT having said all that while looking around I also looked at my face book photos and DAM I really want to get back to my sassy self. So today I am really pulling up the boot straps and trying to get back on the weight loss journey!!
I weighed in at 144.4 pounds this morning - Lets see how things go!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Shhhhh I going to be a Grandma Again!!!!!!

Woo Hoo!! I am so excited! It was unexpected when my son & daughter-in-law had us over to dinner last night to tell us the wonderful news!!! My grand daughter just turned one in October so they will be close in age. My daughter-in-law is keeping the news quiet until she gets further along (she is about 4 or 5 weeks along). It is just so hard to believe my son having children, when I look at him I still see the little chubby guy who I would prop up on the couch and take endless pictures of, when we would go sleigh riding down out drive way, he would drive his little motor car around the block and now he is a father to not just one but to children!! I pray that my daughter-in-law has a easier pregnancy than last time! That girl had one issue after another..... but what a baby she & my son made : ) I just keep smiling when I think of the addition to our family!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

I Asked God Who I'm Supposed To Be

I was watching a movie and this quote came up and it got me thinking.
I wonder if this question is ever answered in a life time?
Do you ever really know who you are? Or are we always changing?
It would be wonderful if God just came in and showed us what we are ment to do with this precious life he has given us but no we have to figure it out and sometimes we never do!

"Last Holiday" DVD

"Last Holiday" - I just LOVE this movie! I really think it has become one of my all time favorites! I love the part where Georgia says " You wait and wait for something big to happen and then you find out your going to die". It's that the truth? I know it is for me. Time goes by so fast that you don't even know where the days go. Another saying she says that I love is "I have lived my whole life in a box, I don't want to be buried in one" - Wow! I just really relate to this too. I have felt like I have ALWAYS taken the " don't rock the boat" route during this life and it makes me feel like I have missed out on many things. I know what you are saying, "the grass is not always greener on the other side" but you only go thru life once. In the movie she has a "possibilities book" which I think is a wonderful idea for everyone to do. I mean if you visualize your dreams maybe you can more of an effort to make them come true. In the movie she travels and blows a ton of cash (which of course you would need to make a lot of your dreams come true). I think that's why so many people just give up on their dreams, if by your fifties you don't have any cash for your day to day bills how the hell are you going to have money to blow making your dreams come true which sends so many people into a depressive state. In the movie she goes into a upscale clothes store and tries on many different clothes and all of the outfits give her a major boost, which I have personally found to be true (of course my clothes come from the thrift stores}.

The night I wore this dress & shoes I felt like a million bucks, I felt the best I have ever felt in my life!! That's why I could just kick myself in my fat butt now for letting my weight balloon again. Life is too short to not feel your best and if you feel your best EVERYTHING in your life just seems to be better. So number one in my "possibility book" is to get my self eating right again so I can look and feel my best!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Don't You Think God Got It Wrong?

I was at my grand daughter's 1st birthday party on Saturday and meet a sweet couple there from my daughter-in-laws church. We got to talking about age, the man was in his early seventies the women looked a bit younger. Watching the my granddaughter and another little girl who is 2 years old run around and just bursting with energy I mentioned didn't they think God got it wrong - that babies should be the ones who wear out quicker and the older you got the more energy you had? They shook their heads with agreement. I really mean it, in your later years you may or may not have family around to assist you as you age. I know ALOT of people entering into their "old" age with having no one to help them. I think of this often, what will I be like in my late 70's or early 8o's? Will I be a burden on my kids? As you know I have been trying to get in better shape for many reasons and one of them is to be able to enjoy the later have of what life I have left on this earth. It is scary to think of being without any energy or health for that matter and being forced to work when you are in you 70's just to be able to survive, but that is a possibility that we are all looking at since retiring has really become something not many  people can look forward to. I know my aunt who is well into her 70's is still working taking care of others as a health aid, she has to work just to pay her rent and put food on the table. I know God probably thought that we would all have families who would take us in as we aged and would take care of us but now a days we are all struggling so no one wants  take someone else in to take care of even when it is family - Isn't that sad? I pray I can keep myself in good shape to be able to handle anything life has to throw my way in my upcoming years...

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Don't Drink Your Calories!

Okay, I have fallen off the wagon big time!
I have found a soda that I am loving right now! It is called Coca-Cola Life. It is sooooo good! It has 90 calories in one can so not real low cal which is disappointing but it is made with stevia & can sugar. I have been drinking just water for months now so it is fun to have something else to drink and right now it is just $2.99 a 6 pack (the gal gave me a coupon for .55 cents off - Dam I should have grabbed more coupons!).
Which leads me to falling off the healthy eating band wagon. I am now eating potato chips & chocolate chips! Now I am not condoning my behavior but I am completely a wreak about the up coming work week. I am wrapping up the fundraising portion of my job this week, the dinner/auction is this up coming Sat. night. I have a TON of stuff to do before that day arrives and you know how my boss scares the living life out of me on a normal day you can imagine during a stress week! Needless to say these two days have been spent eating everything in my sight!!  Which is too bad because I was losing a little bit (like one pound a week).
I pray this week goes by without a hitch and I get everything done to my bosses liking and I can go back to just the cleaning job and be able to breath at work again.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Disney One Week Later

Here is my family & I minus my daughter-in-law she took the picture. What to say about Disney..... It had it's good times and bad ones. The amount of people there is mind blowing! At one point in the evening during the fireworks it was packed like sardines. I really mean it, you could not move and people that worked there were screaming for all of us to move but they had already shut the lights off so it was impossible to move with all the strollers & motorized carts and not killing yourself in the process. It was that bad..... people tell you about the crowds but you always think it won't be that bad while I'm there - well it was jammed packed. One of the good points is the fast pass - It really works wonderfully! We got on so many more rides than I thought possible using it. I have to say my grand daughter fell a sleep on most the rides. I do have to say a number of the rides broke down while we were on them, granted just for a short time but still when your in a dark place and the ride stops and you are stuck in a position where you are laying on your back it is a bit scary. I think Disney really needs to start working on the parks a bit more, from when I was there years ago so much has gone down hill. The staff at the park used to smile and be cheerful now they are snarly and cranky. Back in 1999 when we entered the hotel they said "Welcome Home" to us and made us feel so happy to be there, this time it was very low key and the gal that waited in us made me feel like we were an issue she had to deal with. Just little things here and there have changed and not for the better. When you are paying $105.00 a day to get in you want amazing not just ordinary.
Anyway, it was really great to get away and spend time with the family, not matter how stressful it got at times.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

6 More Days Till Disney!

Yep, It's almost here our Disney trip is 6 days away!! Gosh I am SO not ready for it : (  Don't you think vacations sometimes take a life on of their own? That's this one, everyone is so looking forward to a "Trip of a lifetime" and I pray everyone gets what they are hoping for from it. They are all looking to me to get all the details wrapped up and have a stress free trip but it is so hard since we are traveling with my grand daughter who is turning one! I;m not sure if we should just get on the popular rides right away or should we do the characters meet & greets form my grand daughter? We have a number of agendas going on so it is so hard to plan. I am just praying we have good weather not too hot and not raining and that everyone stays healthy and enjoys themselves! Honestly I would be happy to just enjoy the hotel & swimming pool with my family all with me (I mean how many times do you just get to lounge around with family without someone having to run here or there).
Anyway, having a really tough week this week! I think I have another UTI, I can't believe the week before our get away I get this! We have NO extra money at all so if I do have to go to the doctor it is really going to suck! The our toilet bowl clogged, thank goodness my husband was able to fix it with minor cash layout. Then my car was making a noise that had me worried it was the transmission, it was getting really bad so we put it in for repairs - over $200.00 later and it wasn't the transmission but some  belts & pulleys. THEN the kitchen sick is shot, it runs water under the sink from the pipes..... I had to do the dishes in the bath tub : (  I know you have to roll with the punches but dam can't some good things happen too?
I'm dreading going to work tomorrow but dam we need the money badly so I have to suck it up and stay as long as I have something to do Monday. Life!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life..

I found this quote, and I think it is sooooo true!
Don't you agree? Life goes by so fast you really don't believe it until you get to your 50's when it really hits you right in the heart. You wake up and say to yourself what the hell was I doing all those years! I can honestly say I can't remember much of my 30's, and the sad part is my daughter asks me about when she was a baby and I just can not remember it. I think we were just so busy doing a lot of nothing which is so sad. You know how they say if you could only go back in time? It is so true! I would spend so much more time with my kids and really just focus on them. Now I know you are saying you were a stay at home mom how did you NOT have time to focus on them? That's the part that I just can't figure out myself! Where was I? What was I doing? If there is one thing I can pass on to my kids is to really savor every day. I know my daughter is at a cross roads right now, she feels she is wasting days and she is. I pray that things work out for her and she enjoys what life has to offer her! Right now she is letting life pass her by but not grabbing the bull by the horn and getting out there and living. As a parent you can only push so much, the rest has to come from them. I told her countless times while we were homeschooling her that she needed to apply herself to her studies if she wanted to get a good job and make some good money but she never did. Being young is a time of feeling like you can do anything and she doesn't have that feeling and I am very sad about that. I feel like I have let her down in so many areas, possibly if she had gone to public school she would have found a teacher who would have sparked her interest in something, but I guess there is no looking back only forward. Like the say, Work for a living don't live to work!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Only 16 More Days Till My Disney Trip!

Wow, time is really flying by! It's funny because when I booked this vacation it seemed like it was so far away I had plenty of time to get myself together and lose some weight and get in shape for all the walking I will have to do at the park. Well here we are 16 days away and I have maybe lost 2 pounds! The worst part is I have NOT gotten into shape with the walking like I really wanted to do. I don't want to be the one slowing everyone down or the one who just has to sit and rest for awhile, or God forbid starts to feel sick from starting to wilt.
Okay I have to come clean, just tonight I ate 3 slices of pizza, weight watcher ice cream bars, ice pops and a ton of other things - HELLO! And I am wondering why I am not losing weight or why I feel so crappy all the time!! I know I am a stress eater and I just can't stop like I did when I lost the 50 pounds I pray I will be able to find that me soon!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Sunday

I am enjoying my Sunday, it is very quiet here. My husband and daughter went over to my son's house to watch football. Usually I would go too but today I stayed home and wanted to clean up a bit and down load a book for my nook. There really is something to just spending the day by yourself. I have been productive on the cleaning, now don't let me fool you I'm not breaking any speed records here on getting it done but I have hot a few hot spots that look much better. I down loaded "Hollywood Dirt" it looks like a goody, I'll let you know after I am done. The funny thing is once I start a book it is always hard for me to do anything else. I am feeling so much more relaxed today, it feels good. In the book she write how "Sunday's are the Lord's day. A day spent in the pews at church. Under live oaks eating brunch with our friends and families. Napping through the afternoon hours, front porch visiting time at dusk. Evening was for quality time with your family". Wouldn't be wonderful to spend your Sunday's like that instead of worrying that Monday is almost here? Life is too short, Enjoy your Sunday!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Did Something For Me Today!

Yep, I'm sick of whining about how tired I am and how the weekends pass so quickly that before you know I know it I am back to work..... Sooooo I went down town and got my hair cut. It was really getting shabby looking, so I figured todays the day. I had the works done, haircut & had my eyebrows waxed too. It really felt great to spend sometime just making myself look & feel better! I was feeling some of my old "Mojo" coming back. I can not stress enough how important it is to spend some time on your self! It really trickles down making everything seems not so bad, believe me I know. If you feel sassy, It all snowballs into making you a better you!! I will post a picture of my haircut tomorrow. I also bought hair dye to take care of the greys, I went with a caramel brown color this time instead of my usual dark brown. We will see how that color looks. I will have to dye my hair again before our Disney trip. so if it looks like crap I'll just go back to the dark brown.
I also went to a few of my favorite thrift stores today and would you believe my favorite one was closed : (  I was bummed about that. but I hit two others and was proud of myself I didn't really find anything I loved or was different so I left the store with only a stuffed animal for my granddaughter and some dvd's.
Hope you'll are enjoying the weekend!! Don't WASTE it!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

I See Why.......

I now see why so many people go to drive thru places for dinner! It's just too hard to do it all!
I have now worked two full weeks and I am still DEAD tired every single day when I come home from work! I mean DEAD tired, the kind were you are just hoping to be able to move let alone having to do the hundred other things you need to do before the night is over. I was hoping by now I would have adjusted to the work schedule and got used to it, but NO! I pray that I can get a handle on this and can become an actual functioning person after my work day is over other wise what is the point of all this? There is no time for anything fun after work and by the time the weekend rolls around all I want to do is sleep! Of course sleeping is out since I have to do all the things I have to do since I have not time for them during the week. It's a no win cycle for sure. I now know what they mean by stressful job how they can kill you! My boss has been better with me but I still am a wreak every day, that can't be good for me. I try and calm myself down during the day but it hasn't helped very much, I think all I keep saying is "Why the HELL did I take this on?"! Okay the money was nice this week but really what good is it if you are so dead you can't function? I pray I can get a handle on this and it becomes something I can live with because I have 22 more days till our Disney trip and I can't be this shot for that! I will be so upset with myself if I am to worn out to enjoy this once in a life time trip!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

I cracked!

Yep, I cracked! I was at work Thursday and it all fell apart for me. My boss was being snotty with me and I just broke down. I know it sounds funny coming from a 52 year old women but I just couldn't keep myself together. I got up from my desk and just told her "I can NOT do this" and grabbed my purse. I was ready to leave again similar to when I started working for her. She grabbed me and told me to sit down that I wasn't leaving, that if I left now we were done. I told her I understood that I would lose the cleaning job too and was ready to give it all up. Now of course this was my worst nightmare and what I was praying would NOT happen, losing the cleaning job which I really like but I totally understood. She would NOT let me go every time I tried to tell her I was done she kept telling me "No your not". Anyway to make a long story short I am still working there. She has gone easier on me and even bought me flowers, so I PRAY that this all works out. I give 110% of myself and it just kills me when I can't do the job the way she expects!
The one thing I am proud of is that I AM able to work full time! I have to say I was worried I just didn't have it in me to be able to work an 8 hour day (of course I am only working 7 hours but who's counting). I have talked with a lot of other women in my age bracket and they all say the same thing when I asked how they get it ALL done in a day and they said "You just do it". Once I get out of work I usually go to the food store to pick up a few things (I need to stop this and shop better during the weekend so I can just shoot home after work). I get home and start dinner (of course so far dinner still falls on me to do even though my husband is working the same amount as me now), then my daughter and I go down to take care of the cat/bird we are baby sitting for. Once all that is done we feed our horses, walk our dogs ect., I can tell you I am DEAD after all that! I do have to say my daughter and I were watching a dvd each night and it really helped me unwined and get ready for bed. 
To top it all off having like no time to eat lunch has made me lose 2 pounds since starting work this week - I am down to 142.2!! Yea! Now as long as I don't eat a ton during the weekend I should be okay.
Tonight I went over and spent some time with my grand daughter. That is what really is important in life! Everything else can either work out or not, but family is all you have so really let them know you LOVE them!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

What A Mistake!

You know that old saying Damed if Do and Danmed if you Don't? Well that's me!
I took that job helping out my boss for two months with a charity ball that my job is having - WELL what a mistake I made getting involved with that!!!!! I should have known better but no all I saw was the extra cash I could make for two months and now I am screwed! My boss is a tough one to work with to begin with and I should have smacked my self in the head when I wanted to take this all on. You can NEVER make my boss happy she just wants everything her way or else she is pissy with you. At first she told me to go ahead and do things the way I wanted just as long as I get results so I did now she is back peddling on everything she said to me. I have been at it for "2" days and it seems like two months already!!!! God I need your help with this, Please get me thru this!!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

I Decided To Do It!!!!

Okay, So you know when you've gone and done something and your still so unsure about it and your brain just goes back and forth about it? Well that's what my day has been like today!
My boss was interviewing gals today for that receptionist job I blogged about, the girls were all dressed up and nervous. My boss went over with the girls what they will need to do for the job, calling businesses for donations, keeping track of who you called and following up ect. As she was talking to them I kept hearing a voice saying "Why don't you take the job?" It sounds really like something I CAN do. The job is only for two months, from 11 to 3 Monday thru Friday. After each gal finished I kept wanting to speak up about my wanting the job but I kept holding back, still not sure. I HATE when I am so wishy washy about something! My boss wasn't very happy with the girls she interviewed but was going to go with one of them since she needs to get started on the fundraiser asap., she was going to call the girl back later today and tell her. She said to me "Are you sure you don't want to do it?" I told her I would think it over and get back to her before 3pm today - Well I took the job! I pray it was the right decision!!!! My main factor in taking the job was of course the money..... We can really use more income since my husband's work is so iffy at this point. The funny thing is I don't know how much I will be making I didn't ask...... but even if it is minimum wage which I think it $8.00 here in Florida it will be an extra $160 before taxes so that with my cleaning job could put me in the $300.00 a week area! I know that isn't much by many peoples standards but it will be great for us especially if my husband can find a job too!! It will be a big change for me since I will have to balance everything to get it all done in a day, feeding all the animals, cooking dinner, washing the dishes plus taking care of my neighbors cat & bird it will be hectic but I pray God gives me the strength to do it all!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

I love Valerie Bertinelli!

I really am enjoying her books! Each page I read I so can relate to everything she is saying and that is funny because here she is a Hollywood actress who was married to a mega rock star and I can relate to HER life! I love how she loves her son! Page after page of her books just emits the love and pride she has for him, it's just heart warming to read. She is now doing a cooking show on tv, I wish I had a chance to watch it. In the articles I have read it sounds great, of course some of the commenter have to point out that she has gained back the weight she lost. Why do people ALWAYS have to look at the weight first? Anyway, I hope she writes another book about this chapter of her life!
As for me, I weighed myself this morning and it said 145lbs.! I keep saying I can't believe it but why don't I? Almost every day I eat the whole box of weight watcher ice cream bars before 6 o'clock at night plus my other meals and more snacks so why wouldn't I be gaining! In her book Valerie says that she is a stress eater too and she does exercise now instead of going to the fridge and eating all the wrong things to make herself feel better. I have wrapped my brain around that idea I just have to get with it. Last night I did get on my exercise bike and rode for 5 minutes. Which is at least a start for me but than today I bought the gosh dam ice cream AGAIN! I keep telling myself tomorrow will be the day I get back on the horse and stick with the healthy eating and exercise but than I go and blow it. I really don't know why?

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Losing Weight For Disney World Trip!

Hey all!
I have been meaning to post more but it always seems like one thing after another pops up and I get distracted and don't post - Sorry about that!
It has been HOT as hell here in my part of Florida! The humidity is beyond crazy, you go out side and your clothes are literally soaking wet in minutes. So needless to say I have been not walking at night with my daughter as I had pledged to do. I find it funny how even when I TRY to be good outside forces come into play and send me back on my old ways of eating junk & no exercise : (  I have 39 more days until we go to Disney World, and I had wanted to lose some weight, but most of all I want to get back into shape so I can walk the countless miles around the park without "wilting".  Since going outside seems to be pretty much out, I still have my exercise bike I can use, it's just that it is stuck in a very low gear and is very hard to peddle which wears me out after only about 5 minutes on the dam thing..... but at least it will be some exercise.

I have also been reading two really great books by Valerie Bertinelli - Losing It & Finding It if you get a chance to read them please do you will really enjoy them. What I really liked is how she is exactly like me, she understands the emotional eating how things trigger it and sometimes you just can't get it under control. She said in the book that she turns to exercise now when things are stressing her out like a good walk or hike. It must be really tough to be an actress who is a face for a weight loss program, she can never get away from thinking about weight. She has a new cooking show on tv and one of the articles I read about it said she has gained about 15 pounds since losing the 40 pounds using Jenny Craig 5 or 6 years ago, that's the same as me! She says at 5 ft. 5 (same as me) she feels best at about 132lbs. so if she gained 15 pounds she might be around 147 lbs now (I weigh 144lbs.). In the story she said she has ditched the scale and goes more with how she is feeling than what the scale says. I agree with her there but really I FEEL much better when I am in the 135lbs. area.  If I could only lose 9 pounds before my trip the Disney I would be very happy! She posted a saying on face book this morning which really hit home for me: "Yes, you can wish all you want, but wishes don't come true without work" isn't that the truth!! I can sit here and wish all I want to lose more weight but if I keep eating these weight watcher ice cream bars and eating chocolate chips with my oatmeal I will NEVER lose those 9 pounds I am wishing for! I need to put some work into it!!
I'll keep you posted!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Wasting Weekends

Don't you just hate wasting? I know I sure do! They go by so fast and before you know it Sunday night is staring you in the face. That's what happened this weekend, I blinked and it is over already! I talked with my husband about it, that I feel so depressed when we just waste the weekend without at least doing something that we can enjoy or at least it gives us something to talk about. This weekend we have been bombarded with car troubles.... Man I wish we has a mechanic in the family! First we put my daughter's car in, then while that was still in the shop the brakes on my husband's car starting acting up big time so that will be going in tomorrow. It's such a bummer to blowing money on car repair. I can barely remember what we did Saturday, so that must have been a dud of a day : (  Today we went to the beach and had breakfast at a restaurant on the beach, we spent $15.00 plus a $2.00 tip on breakfast! Isn't that the stupidest thing? 2 eggs & home fries with a glass of water $6.00 and change... What the heck. The whole time on the way home I thought of all the other things I could have done with that $20.00, like buy a book. The one I was thinking of is called, 101 Nights of Great Sex I have been reading this gals webpage and I love her, she is such a hoot to read. I would love to get that book and give it a go with my husband : ) Anyway, I am getting off the topic here. I really want to make an effort to do SOMETHING each weekend that makes it worth while and not a throw away weekend, You know what I mean?

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Mixed Emotions Kinda Day

This past week I have just been swinging back and forth with emotions.
My boss wanted me to take the receptionist job that was opening up at my work place, the work hours were from 11am till 3pm. (4 hours) I would assume at minimum wage. I passed on it. I work from 8am till 11am (3 hours) and I come home and take a nap, I couldn't imagine working another 4 hours - I would be dead. Now I know what you are thinking Dam she only works three hours how can she be so tired..... I have asked myself thin many times. Maybe it is all in my mind that I need a nap, maybe if I just gave the receptionist job a chance I would have been able to do it. But my day like a lot of yours doesn't stop after I get off work, I have to feed all the animals, make dinner, wash dishes ect. THEN I can settle down for the night and maybe watch a movie or read a book ect. If I had taken that job I'm sure I could have gotten all that was needed done in a day, but it just seemed overwhelming for me to think about taking it on. Now here is the mixed emotions part.... Now that they have filled the position, I feel terrible that I didn't take it. I could have really used the extra money!!!!! My husband's job is coming to an end and that is always stressful not knowing if he will find another one or not so if I were to have added hours to my job it would of helped ease the stress about that issue. Don't you just HATE  it when you are not settled in a decision you made. Life is like that, so many decisions are made and you have to live with them, Some turn out good and some bad only time will tell.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Is it Friday Yet?

Dam, this week has been long and it is only Tuesday! Yikes!
I honestly hate weeks like this one, Life is too short to waste even a minute of a day let alone a whole week just wishing for it to be over.... but that is how I feel about this week.
You know that saying "Everyone is working for the weekend", Isn't that a sad fact when you think about it. You waste the whole entire week of your life just to make some money to be able to pay your bills and hopefully get some fun time in during the weekend.
When I wasn't working I would waste the days too doing a lot of nothing, but now that I work I am really aware of time and how precious it is.
My grand daughter has started to say Da Da, which is just the cutest thing ever. I thank god that I am here to see her growing up. That is what life is all about! I know people who don't have children must find other things to make their life worth living but I could not imagine not having children. I really am aware of how quickly time flies by when you aren't paying attention. I guess when you get to my age bracket things like time becomes very clear.
It's just a fact that we all die and there are no do overs in life no matter how much we wish there were, so you HAVE to make this life the best you can!
I need to remind myself from time to time.....

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

One Of Those Days.....

Yea, It's one of those days where I feel like crying!
I wish I could win a million dollars and just get away for awhile from everything.
Today my boss was such a bitch to me it was terrible. I just hate when she talks to me like I am dirt and have no feelings. My husband says I am just too thin skinned, that the working world now a days is nasty at best and I am seeing what he means. I get it that my boss is under major stress with a number of things but I just don't get why she has to be mean to me when I haven't done anything to her ever! I have always felt that being nice gets you so much further in life than if you are a bitch. It's so hard for me to just let it roll off my back, it hurts me when she talks mean to me. Why be like that to your employees? I just don't get it.
Anyway, I am really thinking that a lot of my weight issues is because I am always so stressed at work. Now I know what you are probably saying how can there be stress when you clean cat boxes & an office - I know you would think that it a no brainer but every day there is issues. I am just that kind of person who doesn't handle stress very well at all. So needless to say I bought another box of weight watcher ice cream (that's been almost a box EVERY day this week!). My size small shirts are starting to get tight on me : (  I am really going to have to grab myself and pull myself together!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

What The Hell : (

Okay here I am this past weekend, my husband, daughter & I went down to Daytona Beach for a nice little get-a-way weekend. I don't look too bad right? Well here I am in a bathing suit!

What the HELL! I look terrible! My legs are like tree trunks. I tell you it really is best to take pictures along your weight loss journey it really gives you a better opinion of what you really look like. During this mini vacation the elevator at the hotel was really slow so we used the stairs, going up 5 flights of stairs countless times I thought for sure I would lose weight - Hell No! I gained : ( I am so bummed out about it, I am now up to 145lbs.!!!!! Dam! The completely sad part is I went and bought a box of the weight watcher ice cream bars and ate the whole box in almost one sitting. Now isn't that a kick in the pants...... Here I am depressed as hell about gaining weight but yet I go and eat more junk. I just can't stop my eating problem, I blame it on stress all the time but dam that excuse is growing old. I want my old body back!!

Don't Tell Me!

The scale has moved up AGAIN! It is now up to 146.2 - YIKES!!!!!
I had gone over to babysit my grand-daughter Friday night & Saturday, I thought for sure I would lose some weight just running after her (Isn't she just the cutest baby ever!) with all the bending and lifting but no, I gained!

 I did find my daughter-in-laws cookie stash and had a few but really not that many (but I guess it really doesn't take that many cookies to gain). We than went on Sunday to the Jacksonville Zoo. I tell you pictures don't lie! My husband took this picture of my daughter & I and holly hell I have gained a ton of weight : (  My legs look like chubbers again! My daughter is about 120lbs., and she looks great at that weight (we are both the same height), so I really need to get down to at least 130lbs.

The funny thing is I was out shopping today and do you know what I bought and ate in the car? Ding Dongs!!!! Can you imagine with all the complaining I have been doing about weight and I ate a ding dong...... Dam that was stupid!

I really see that one of my main problems is when I get off of work and just grab things because I am tired and hungry and don't feel like making lunch, I grab something simple even it it's not healthy. I also have been stressing about things which also doesn't help.

I was stressed about the babysitting, I thought she was going to cry the whole time but she was great no problems. The other issue is that my boss asked me if I would like to help her with a catering job she has tomorrow night from 4 to 6pm. she is going to pay me $100.00, I said sure. Of course I didn't have any clothes to wear, she wanted black pants & a white shirt. I went to a number of the resale shops and found the black pants but no white shirt. I did grab a white shirt with black flowers on it, she said that would be fine to wear (she didn't want me spending money on new clothes when the point is to be making money not spending it). I also had to find some shoes, I do not have any black dress shoes (she didn't want sneakers - and that is what I live in). I bought a pair of small heals at Walmart for $11.97, I just hope they are comfortable enough to stand in for over two hours! I am looking forward to the evening for something different to do instead of the same old thing every week. Of course I am a little nervous that I will drop something or maybe spill something on someone.

I'll let you know how it goes, Wish me luck!

 

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Feeling Like A Failure

I could not be more upset with my self right now!
As I mentioned in a past blog post, I was offered the job position of being the assistant vet. tech. I accepted it with reservations being that I am a very sensitive to seeing animals harmed or hurt but I thought I could pull it off being that the animals are only getting spayed or neutered at our clinic. Today was my first time in the operating room, and it will be my last! I couldn't handle it! I am so disappointed, I was really looking forward to working more hours and learning a new job skill. I was doing okay until the point were the doctor was ready to cut the cat open and I lost it. The blood rushed to my head which made it feel like it was going to explode, it felt like my face was 150 degrees! Then my stomach started to turn, I was almost thinking I was working my way to fainting. I quickly told the doctor and the administrator I couldn't do it and went to the bathroom and tried to upchuck. I drank some water and sat down with a cold towel washing my face and I revived but thank God the administrator was there to take my place because the vet would have been up the creek with me shooting out of the room like a rocket. I am disappointed I let down the vet & my boss, they both had faith in me I could do the job. I am depressed that most likely my cleaning hours are going to be cut way down now that we are moving more towards just a spay & neutering clinic and away from taking in cats to rehome. There just won't be enough for me to clean for three hours every day. My boss mentioned while I was white faced and sitting in a chair that maybe I could work in the check in area instead, I hope that will be an option I can do. I just feel like I am such a failure!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Happy Father's Day!

This is a picture of my husband and son, this is my son's first father's day as a dad! He really is a wonderful dad, it really makes me so happy to see that he has such a wonderful way with his daughter. My dad passed about 12 years ago now, and it always makes me sad on father's day to think of him gone, so it's hard to really celebrate the day but life goes on.
I picked up "The Diet Cure" by Julia Ross from my library, and I am LOVING it! What an amazing book! It is so informative! I get crazy when I start reading a book like this that has so much information in it, I jump ahead and go back that I lose track of what I am reading. To stop myself I got out a notebook and am taking notes as I go along to help me remember all of the great info. Now granted it states you will need to buy/take a lot of supplements and amino acids to help get your body back to where is needs to be, so there is a big lay out of cash if you want to cover all of your problems right away. That of course is not in my budget so I am focusing on my most important problem first - How tired I always am. I think this is a good spot to start at since if you have energy thru out the day you can accomplish a lot even eating better because you aren't too tired to cook which stops the quick grab and eat food that is usually not very good for you. I will update you on my progress in the next post.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Time For A Haircut

I was at work on Tuesday and just was having one of those days were I felt sickish, my hair was in my way and making me even hotter (It has been HOT here in Florida). I always wonder when I am struggling with heat if it is really hot or am I starting the hot flash thing of menopause. I could not put a finger on the real problem so I decided to get my hair cut. I have found a great gal at Fantastic Sam's, they charge $15.00 for a haircut. The best part is the gal I use is fantastic she really understands what I am looking for. I felt a lot better after having it done and it looked good too. Well I go to work today and no one mentioned my haircut.... kind of a bummer. I had to work this past weekend so my paycheck this week was $190.00! Now that felt great getting a check in that amount. I hope when I start the vet tech assistant job it all works out and I can do it, it will be great to get a bigger pay check. I will be working Monday & Tuesday, I guess full days 9 to 5. That will be a big change for me working a full day, I'm used to my naps : ) It's funny how a little thing like a hair cut can make you feel better, now I just have to get my butt in gear and start eating right. So much of what your day is like is from your eating style, too much junk food and you feel like junk it is a fact. That's where I am at now, too much junk is bringing me down...... I can't wait to read the Diet Cure book sounds so interesting!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Feeling Your Best Health and Money Wize At 52

Feeling your best? I am really striving to find it, I want to be around for my family & be able to have my grand daughter to get a chance to know me without seeing me sick and used up. I think when you hit your fifties you really wake up to the fact that it's now or never no matter what you are hoping for! You have to face facts that if by now you haven't become wealthy you probably won't unless someone leaves you a bundle, If you are not feeling well it's only going to get worse as you age ect. It's do or die time literally and figuratively. I still play the mega million game from time to time in hopes of winning - not so much to have money (which would be nice) but to be able to help out my kids when they need money. It was so fun when I had come into so money a few years ago being an executor of a will. I had a nice chunk of cash that I could help my son buy his first home, Now that felt sooooo good! That's what I'm talking about, if you have extra cash you can help others and it relives your brain of the stress of the "What if's" that pop up all the time in life. My daughter says all the time that if I were to win a million dollars I would spend it all, and she is I probably right. I LOVED being able to take my family all out for dinner and not have to look at the prices on the menu it made the evening so enjoyable. I pray one day God will grant my wish to win a chunk of money so before I pass on I again can enjoy the feeling of giving, but until then we will live barely from one pay check to another. As for feeling your best, I am still struggling with that! I have been adding a ton of fruit to my diet, watermelon, cherries & grapes. I have been trying to get back into the swing of eating my nuts while I watch my Netflix movie at night (but I have to be honest with you my teeth are pretty bad and it hurts to eat nuts - Note to my younger self: Take care of your teeth!). Today I had a major headache, not sure if it is from it being so dam hot & humid here in Florida or maybe it is from my cutting back on chocolate. So you know what I did? I had some chocolate! I know, I could kick myself in the pants, but I am so afraid of headaches. I get migraines and they scare the hell out of me - I will do ANYTHING not to let a regular headache get to the migraine stage! I really wish I would have been following along with this blog last year when I was losing all of the weight on what I was eating to successfully lose the weight. be  I am really struggling with it. This morning I weighed in at 144.8 - Dam : ( I have my library getting me a book called "Diet Cure", I am really looking forward to reading it, I'll let you know what tips & ideas I get from it.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Mondays Do Suck!!

I sorry I have to complain today!
I give a 110% at my job every day, that's a fact. Now granted cleaning is not rocket science but I really try hard to make the place look great. I listen to everything my boss says to do and I do it. Today she was on my butt for not keeping up on changing the air fresheners! She made me feel like a total ass in front of the new girl (who is 16 yrs. old). I just feel like a deflated balloon, since I give so much of myself to the job and she still treats me like an asshole. I see why so many people don't give a shit at their jobs, Is it really worth it? I mean why go the extra mile to do your best when the bosses treat you like garbage. I love my job but honestly it is so hard to keep up your self esteem when some one degrades you like my boss does. The funny thing is my boss asked me to consider taking the veterinary assistant job that is available, HELLO if your not happy with the way I can't remember to change the air fresheners why would you want me to be in charge of the care of a recovering animal??????? My mother always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated, I really try and live by that rule. Hurting peoples feelings is just such a low thing to do. Now I'm not saying when you screw up you shouldn't get a talking to, but do it in a manner that is productive not shredding a persons self esteem. Maybe I take things to personally! I really should let this kind of thing roll off my back and not care so much I guess. As for the tech assistant job I was really thinking of trying it, but now I am really worried it will just be too much stress. I NEED the extra money for sure and really would hate turning a job down since honestly how many people want to hire a 52 year old who doesn't have very much past work history?????? I'll pray about it and see what happens.
Thanks for listening to my rant today, Mondays are really tough some weeks : (

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Weight Loss & Life.... Shit Happens!

It's strange how people come into your life who affect you and you don't even know them that well. Let me fill you in, where I work the people who own the store next to us run a motorcycle repair shop. They are a nice couple who actually invited me over for cake when the wife was celebrating her 62nd birthday. Anyway, the man is sick, very sick from what I can gather. They are packing their shop up, I guess they are going out of business. Their friends have been stopping by to help them pack & move, you can tell it is such a sad time for all of them. I feel bad that here they must have worked really hard over the years to have their own business and now sickness is robbing them out of it. The wife looks so sad as you can imagine, she must be dealing with so much. It really makes you look at your own life and say "What the hell am I complaining about"!! Life does go by so fast and then you are at middle age and the body starts to have issues just when you need it most. I mean really your eyesight goes bad, your pains gets worse, things just start flaring up. Then you yell at your self for not taking better care of that body of yours when you were younger...... Last year I think I was in the best shape of maybe my entire life and I let it slip away! I can tell you when your body feels good it really feels good (does that make sense?). I pray I can get back to that soon. I know I CAN do it, it is just a matter of doing it. Like today I bought another box of the weight watcher ice cream bars! I know I can not keep eating them and get back to where I need to be weight wise but I still keep eating them : (  I am at 143.2 pounds this morning and my pants are tight as hell. At work I had to unbutton the top button of my pants to be able to do my job! But yet I was there at Target buying that box of ice cream, WHY! I just don't get it. I have been buying watermelon as much as I can because I LOVE watermelon and I am hoping it will help be move away from the ice cream. It's funny how I find so many reasons to buy the ice cream each day like, I'm tired from work and I need a quick snack, I have had a shitty day, I feel depressed ect., all of these reasons would correct themselves if I would just stop the ice cream because eating right makes your whole out look on things so much better, you have energy for the stress that pops up and you just feel so much better you can handle anything. Isn't it funny how we all know this but yet we still eat incorrectly.
Anyway, I really am going to try and get myself back to feeling better. Just seeing my work neighbor and what he is going through just shows me we don't know how long we have got on this earth but you might as well try and be your healthiest while your here so you can enjoy it!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!! 

Exercise and Weight Loss, Do You Need To Do it?

I was reading an article that stated exercise is not necessary for weight loss. Looking back at my weight loss and I think you really need to keep yourself moving to lose weight. Maybe not jumping on an exercise bike or a treadmill per say but you really need to keep the body moving and NOT sitting at the computer for hours on end. I think that is one of the reasons I am having so much trouble losing again, I spend WAY to much time sitting at the computer! I used to drive down town almost every day and shop at the thrift stores or going to the farmers market and just walking. I thought by getting a job and bending and lifting ect. for that I would be losing weight but as the article said many people who exercise make themselves eat more because they are hungrier. I am starving after my three little hours of work and come home eat, usually at least three weight watcher ice cream bars and maybe even a sandwich then I take a nap. Hello, where is the movement in that! I know you must be saying three hours of work and she is shot? Yes, I used to think I was in pretty good shape after losing the weight, I even started to think about jogging but now all I think about is when I can get back to sleep. If I had insurance I would like to go and have my blood tested to see what I am lacking because it has to be something. I know since adding back sugar into my eating that also is dragging me down, I remember when cherry tomatoes used to taste so sweet to me but now after living on the weight watcher bars I can't enjoy the fruit and vegetables at all now. In reading the "Body Clutter" book it states if you have trigger foods that you just have to keep them OUT of your house! I need to do this with the dam weight watcher ice cream bars!! I keep telling myself one reason after another on why I need them just to get me through on thing after another but in reality they are messing me all up. Okay, now that I stated it out loud - I am NOT going to buy them again!! I will not let them jump into my shopping cart no matter what and then let me see if I can not get back to enjoying the sweet taste of cherry tomatoes and other healthier foods.
Good luck on your weight loss journey!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Remember When......

Remember when I posted how the scale just was not budging....... Well it budged! It went up to 142.8 this morning! As I said I have been OUT OF CONTROLL! Today I was watching myself to see what the issues are and again it is stress. I was at work and my husband stopped by and said the guys he is working for never showed up to work..... This is getting terrible he has had a lot of off time. Just when I was hoping we could finally start doing some fun things with my money I am making from my job it gets shot down again. All this just drove me right to Target to buy those weight watcher ice creams and I ate the whole box! It's funny but I have like a hum in my body all the time, I think it might my high blood pressure or something. It sure isn't energy, but I do have to say I do feel a little more energy since taking the vitamins. They do cause a lot of gas though. I have been having such a tough time with all of the UTI & yeast infections that I just keep getting. I am taking the cranberry pills ever day in hopes that it will help. The infections just kick my butt, it hurts and it rings me out like a wet wash cloth. This week I am hoping to be able to make it all week without one rearing its ugly head again.
So stress, What can we do about it? That is a good question......

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Bike Riding Anyone?

See, here I am really getting out there on my bike and trying to exercise! The funny thing is we have been having a terrible time with dogs coming out and chasing us where ever we ride, so our trips have been cut short some nights : (  This whole week I have been really stuck at 141.6, the scale just won't seem to budge! Of course I am still having a lot of issues with the weight watcher ice cream bars & honey barbecue chips...... could that be why the scale hasn't moved down any?????? I did buy a bag of cherries today, they were $4.99 a pound! Yikes!! I spent $9.33 on them! Isn't that terrible? They keep saying that you can eat healthy without spending an arm & a leg but I just don't see it. Red peppers which we love are $1.85 a pepper.... come on it is way more expensive to buy good food than to buy boxed crap. Anyway, now I just have to stop my ice cream/chip habit and eat the cherries & grapes and I should be good to go again.
Oh yea one more thing, my Target has decided to stop stocking the Zevia soda that I have been drinking, it is a real bummer for me since that is the only thing I drink besides water. On the other hand it just means I will be drinking a lot more water which will be a good thing. We buy the Target brand bottled water at $3.19 for 24 bottles, You can beat that price!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Thoughts Of My Mother

As Mother's Day approaches I always think of my mom and it makes me so sad. She would love to see my grand-daughter and would be so proud of my son Kristopher on what a great father he is becoming. Don't you think it is a rip how the most important people get old and leave you for ever just at the time when you really would treasure them? Life goes by so fast that you don't think twice about your parents but then before you know it they pass on and you are left all alone. Of course you may have a husband, children or friends that can fill up your life by there is no replacement for your mother! There are times that I wish I could just have a day with her to tell her all that has gone on my life and I know she would listen as she always did never passing judgment and always being the positive person that she was. I think that is one of the biggest things I miss about her, she always had my back no matter what.
If you are lucky enough to still have your mom around this Mother's Day, give her a big hug and let her tell you all those old stories that you may have heard a hundred times because belive me there will be a day in the future when you would give anything to just hear her voice one more time!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

To Nap Or Not To Nap, That Is The Question....

Do you all take naps during the day?
I have been trying to decide it taking a nap is helping me or hurting me in the long run.
I find that is I nap during the day it hinders my ability to sleep soundly at night, but if I don't take a nap I am shot during the evening hours when there is just too much to do.
I have been really struggling with restful sleep lately due to my back pain, it's not all the time but when it hits it takes my breath away. I have never had back pain before so I am guessing it is from lifting the heavy mop bucket at work. I always take three Advil at night but that doesn't seem to help the back pain.
Anyway, How is the weight thing going? I'm still at 141.6 I would have thought I would have lost at least a little bit since my daughter and I have been riding bikes for at least 20 minutes if not more every night. I just am feeling so tired all the time it has me worried. I just can't seem to find any energy to do things, everything drains me. I see watermelon is starting to come down in price so I am hoping that helps with the weight loss and I started taking my vitamins again "Alive Energy for Women". I am hoping I can get back my mojo!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

So How Is The Weight Loss Going?

Have you been having any luck with your weight loss yet?
I am really struggling!!!! I buy those weight watcher ice cream bars and eat the entire box in one day. The sad part is I do that about EVERY day! At $3.99 a box it is an expensive habit beyond the weight gain. I promised myself today when I went to Target that I would NOT buy another box, which I did not so I guess that's a victory of sorts. I bought carrots already cut into strips which I had with my low calorie ranch dressing. I have also had some issues with potato chips. These are the things I have to work on big time! Like just a few minutes ago I had my lunch and then I went and ate 2 large handfuls of chocolate chips!! So I blew the health lunch I had : (  These are the kinda thing that is driving me CRAZY! Why can I not just keep eating what I used to eat that I had such success with in losing the weight. I keep ruining it with bad snacks, chips or chocolate!
I weighed in this morning at 141.2 by evening I seem to gain 2 pounds thru out the day. This weight is just to heavy for me. I have a giggly belly and my hips & upper thighs are huge. I do try and bike ride every evening which I doesn't seem to be helping any......
I really thought when I started by to work I would lose a few pounds from all the moving around and lifting but No! Being at this weight is so uncomfortable when working, bending it starting to get harder to do. Also, I have been having terrible back pain at night when I try and sleep. Good Grief I need to pull up the boot straps and get back down to my fighting weight!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Weight Loss Tips - Reading!

My next tip that helped me lose 50 pounds was to read!
Yes, I want you to go to your local library and take out a couple of books you have been meaning to read that you just haven't had the time to and make it a priority!
Now it can be any topic you like but my books of choice are erotic romances, it kills two birds with one stone for me. It gives me something to do other than eating and it also gives me possible new ideas to try with my man : )
Try and steer clear of project books or homeschooling ideas ect. this is for you not the family or kids, this is YOUR time. You remember that commercial that stated "Calgon Take Me Away" well this is your calgon - books! Let it take you away from your problems. Let your mind escape for a bit, it can be FUN if you let it.
Some suggestions if you are wanting to go the erotic romance route:
Fifty Shades of Grey
The Crossfire novels by Sylvia Day
Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
If you need more suggestions just let me know I have read ALOT if them : )

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Feeling Great & Weight Loss

If you have been reading my blog you all know I had lost 50 pounds. Now this was a HUGE accomplishment for me to say the least. I have wanted to loss weight for YEARS and it just didn't happen. I felt terrible about myself in so many ways that it was pathetic that I kept going without losing some weight. I kept waiting for that light bulb to go off telling me now is the time do it, but is never came. Then when I got to 50 years old everything changed for me. You wake up one morning and you can see things more clearly than you ever have. That's when I told myself lets get it done Donna and I did! I will share my weight loss tips with you over the next couple of blog posts, see if any of them help you.
First off, If you wake up each morning feeling like crap it is going to be harder than ever to lose weight. Try and get yourself feeling up beat and not dragging, now how to do that you may ask? Well let me tell you when I lost the weight things in my life where going great. We had no money problems, I was feeling good, I was happy each day. It really helps to try and lessen your stress load when trying to lose weight. I know I am a MAJOR stress eater and the minute things start to stress me out I run for a quick pick me up - usually chocolate. You can not feel your best no matter what weight you are if you are always stressed! It just weighs you down something terrible in so many ways. So my first tip is: Right now grab a note book and write down the things that are stressing you out, it might be money problems, the kids are testing your last nerve, your husband is always picking at you about one thing or another, ect. write it all down. After your done take a good look at what you wrote and see what you can do about them to make YOU feel better about it. Seeing the issue on paper & thinking of ways to work on it may just make the issue seem not so bad. Of course don't be snacking while writing your list! Have a big glass of ice cold water while your working, that will help hydrate you.
There is no better feeling in this world than feeling great!

This was me when I was feeling the best in my entire life! I had lost 50 pounds and finally felt fantastic inside and out. You would think that once you get to that point in your life that you would do anything & everything to stay there but as you know from reading my blog I have fallen of the feel good wagon and I feel like I have let myself down big time!
So join me and we will get to the feel good point in our lives!!
We just need to remember that we are important and we need to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we just need to put ourselves first, Life is too short to not be our best!!!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

Good News!!

Well I have a bit of good news to share with you!
My husband may have found a JOB!! I am crossing my fingers & toes it works out.
It is a big company and they have just one job in our area so it might not be long tern but who knows what it may lead too. I hope he has rave reviews of it when he get's home tonight. It would be such a relief to have a pay check coming in again. It was funny but we ran into a gal we know at Walmart and she mentioned that the fire works maker which is right in our area is hiring (she had got a job there and is very happy with it). She told my husband to stop by her house and get an application, which he put off then this job came up. You got to wonder which job God was directing him to this one or the fire works company????? The guy hired him over the internet and he was supposta start work on Monday but of course it rained..... We are going to have rain all this week so I pray he can get some work hours in so we can get a nice pay check - all of our bills are due and my pay check just doesn't cover them : (
Send prayers that this job works out please!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

New Set Of Wheels!!

Where to start..... It's been awhile since I posted.
I got a new set of wheels.

I LOVE it!!!! I call her "Anastasia" after the gal in Fifty Shades of Grey. I always wanted a convertible and now I can mark it off my bucket list! It is so cool driving with the top down. I'm so glad I got her, she makes driving to work fun : )

Now on to another topic I need to address:
My weight! I am out of control!!!!!! I can't stop eating junk food!!!!
I am now up to 144.6 lbs.!!! The worst part is all of the cool clothes I have bought are now to tight for me to wear which bums me out something awful!
I just can not get control of it. I keep telling myself I will start getting on track but then I go and buy those weight watcher ice creams which I can not stop eating until the box is empty. I also keep buying those delicious dark chocolate chips and add them to my oatmeal, making a healthy meal into a calorie fest.
I am so disappointed in myself!!!!!

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

First Pay Check!

Starting my third week of work..... I am so glad I stuck with it, I really like working again!
There is something so full filling being able to make money, it makes you feel useful. Now I'm not saying that being a stay at home mom wasn't full filling it was, but looking back on things I should have gone back to work when both my kids were in school for a few hours. It really would have given me confidence in myself that if need be I could have made money and been able to make a living. I think too many stay at home moms become so dependent on their husbands that they lose sight of themselves, I know I did. It took me till this year to start working one me, can you imagine a 51 year old just starting? It's really kinda sad to think about it like that though, all those years have passed and I am just now thinking about me.
My husband and I wanted to celebrate my first pay check, We didn't want to spend much money (defeats the point of making the money in the first place if you are just going to blow it). I won 2 free movie tickets so we went and watched "Fifty Shades of Grey" again, it was my third time and my husbands second time watching it.

I wanted to point out the top I am wearing, It is a Adrianna Papell Boutique Evening top. I got it at my local thrift store. I see them listed on ebay any where from $70.00 to $100.00, I bought mine for $10.00!!!! I LOVE it! I can wear it with either my jeans or if I find a dressy pair of pants.

Looking at this picture I so can see the where the added weight I have gained is sitting! The tops of my legs below the hips area is just looking awful : (  I must get with it and lose the weight again summer will be here soon and I want to wear all the great outfits I have bought.

Until Next Time - God Bless!!

"I'm Moving Out"!

That's what my daughter said to me Sunday night in anger because I told her to reschedule her meeting up with a guy friend from Orlando. She got so mad at me she was in the almost crying stage! She got a couple of bags and actually started laying out her clothes on what she was taking with her. Now where was she going to go, I don't know maybe to my son's house or maybe with this guy from Orlando that she has NEVER meet in person before.... I was so disappointed in her for pulling the "Moving Out" card. I know she is at that stage in life when things should be happening for her but right now they are not. She STILL needs to practice driving and get her drivers license, then of course get a job. As I have said before she will be floored what it will be like to work, the girl doesn't clean her room, she doesn't cook, she doesn't do anything to help around the house at all. The only thing she does do is assist me with feeding the horses which takes 15 minutes tops. But enough about all that let's get back to the "Moving Out" topic. I think this is an issue a lot of kids are facing now where they play these online games with people who become their "friends" and they think they know them but in reality they are complete strangers. I tell you I was worried about the whole issue of this guy coming up to see her especially when I had to work and she would be here alone with him. To shorten up a long night of jangled nervous and going back and forth at each other we came to the conclusion that my husband would be here to keep an eye on things (of course never mind my husband NEEDS to find a JOB which is a lot more important that watching over these two but so be it). Now I get along with ALL kinds of people, I can find things to talk about on all issues and I don't like to judge anyone but when I saw this guy I was taken aback and not in a good way.
Here he is with my daughter (my husband took the picture)

My husband had a chance to talk to the fellow for awhile and thought he was an okay guy. He said he was pleasant, respectful, soft spoken. He also has a job as a welder, his own car, & lives on his own with two of his friends. My husband LIKED him - HELLO!

The first thing I saw was the tats! It makes me so sad seeing such young people all inked up. What was cool at the moment will look terrible as you age. My Dad had tattoos on his arms & chest and he always said he wished he hadn't gotten them but it was the thing to do while in the navy. I will be honest with you, I was not the nicest while talking to the young man. I like to see some ones eyes while talking to them and his hair was almost covering them which I did not like at all. He was very nice to me and even brought me CANDY can you imagine. He knows how to get on a women good side. I didn't give the boy a chance really and he picked up on it, he even asked my daughter "Your mother hates me, doesn't she"? I am sad now looking back on my behavior! The fellow took my daughter out to dinner, than a movie. He also opened doors for her and was a gentleman which she was very impressed with. So all in all the fellow turned out to be okay, not sure if he will be seeing her again but I really must not judge so quickly!!

 

Until Next Time - God Bless!!